For a movie that looks and sounds like something that the Syfy channel would shit out on a whim, Jordan Rubin’s Zombeavers is pretty dam entertaining. Yes, really, there’s a movie called Zombeavers and it follows a group of college kids at a riverside cabin who get tormented by a swarm of deadly zombie beavers. It’s hard to argue with a movie about semi-aquatic rodents with a hunger for man flesh. If that doesn’t sound like something you’d enjoy, then you’re probably going to want to steer clear of this one.
Zombeavers is grounded in the age old set-up of a bunch of impossible-to-like kids spending the weekend at a cabin in the woods, where sure enough, shit hits the proverbial fan. But instead of demons or masked killers ruining their weekend getaway, it’s a swarm of mutated beavers doing the dirty work. We’re introduced to three girls who completely cover the typical-girl-in-a-horror-movie spectrum—the slutty one, the one who is obviously hiding something, and of course, the innocent one. With all of the bases covered, Zombeavers tosses in a few extra dudes in order to pad the body count. You know, typical horror movie stuff.
So, with all the plot building and character development out of the way in the first 10 minutes, the film really starts to have fun with its premise. And it’s stupid, but even saying that Zombeavers is stupid is rather pointless because no shit, man, that’s the entire point. After the kids discover a zombie beaver in the bathtub of their cabin, they proceed to beat it to death—or so they think—with a baseball bat. They dump its remains into a trash bag and leave it on the porch, only to find it gone the next morning. Shocker! All sorts of furry hell breaks lose after that.
Even though the premise is completely over the top and it’s about as cliche as a horror movie can get, there’s a special kind of charm in watching a bunch of people getting torn to pieces by beavers. It’s really that simple. It beats with an old school pulse, one that delivers some wicked practical-effects-driven creatures and plenty of cheesy CGI. So, at the end of the day what this review really boils down to is that if you’re willing to sit down and watch a movie called Zombeavers, then you’re probably going to enjoy it because it delivers exactly that and not much else.