Here’s the thing about a lot of horror fans – they’re the worst. Look… that’s harsh, I know, but hear me out. Because this genre has such a passionate fan base, when they get upset about something — like when their favorite childhood horror movie gets remade — they’re going to let you and everyone else know. Every. Single. Time. Despite countless examples of great remakes, with every new announcement their numbers grow stronger and their irrational whining gets louder. Remakes are not, and have never been, the end of the world… unless you’re these guys.
As predicted, once the news dropped that a Twister remake is now on the horizon — potentially to be directed by Top Gun: Maverick‘s Joseph Kosinski — some horror fans couldn’t wait to let everyone know how bad of an idea it is. Now, what’s immediately hilarious to me about this is the fact that… Twister isn’t even a horror movie. Thriller, sure. But horror movie? The closest this movie gets to horror is a brief shot of The Shining playing at a drive-in, but do you think that stopped some horror fans from getting extremely butt-hurt on the internet? No… oh no. Let’s examine, shall we?
Oh.. look, this guy used a pun to be silly and an asshole. Hey, don’t do that. And also, what do you even mean by more “bad reboots”? The Invisible Man came out 5 months ago and — this might be shocking to you — it was decidedly better than your pun.
Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. So much so that I… I don’t even know where to begin. Adri, you can’t possibly believe that a remake of Twister — a movie about tornadoes in rural who-the-fuck-knows — will actually disgrace their memories in any capacity. If anything, this will encourage more people to watch the original film and see their wonderful performances. So far, from what I can tell, the only disgrace this remake has caused is this comment you just made. You’re an insane person.
I like that this guy just gets straight to the point. And I also like that a real-life psychic has the time to post thoughtful comments about remakes of movies made in the 90’s. Bro, tell me my future.
Who wants to break the news to him? Hey, guy, I’m sorry to be the one who has to tell you this but… but they didn’t use real tornadoes in Twister. That wasn’t a real cow either. I know all of the real tornadoes are out of work right now due to COVID-19, but that doesn’t mean doing it with CGI is a bad thing. In fact, you could argue that with today’s movie technology, CGI is — without a shred doubt — the only way to make this movie, you silly man.
Oh, look. We got another pun bro here. He even italicized it to make sure nobody missed it. Nothing sucks more than this type of dude. Really makes your head spin…
Please, Jasonlives1986, explain to the rest of us which remakes are necessary so that we know which ones to bitch about in advance next time. I like how this dude draws the line at remakes — only the unnecessary ones — but is totally cool with a horror franchise that shits out sequel after sequel for 30 years and only stopped because of rights issues. You can’t complain about remakes and be a fan of a franchise that basically remakes itself with every sequel.
I had to cap this off at six because there’s just… so many of them. I was sifting through the shitstorm that is the comments on Twitter, too, and… oh, boy; there’s just not enough time in the day to corral them all. It always cracks me up to read the comments section on horror sites because they’re always, without fail, full of troglodytes complaining about things they haven’t even seen yet. Anyway, this post is brought to you by boredom, so hopefully you found this, at the very least, mildly entertaining.
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